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還是未夠上心把自己做好

去年八月雲南、尼泊爾和印度寫下的,現在才發,希望各人安好。On my way to the airport for my month long trip, I didn't know if I still had it in me. The last time I backpacked alone was over four years ago to Russia. But I was exhausted from work and felt lost in life, I just knew I needed to do something. 

I never intended it to be a soul searching type of trip. But it turned out to be exactly that sort of trip. On my second day back home in Hong Kong, my dad's wife recommended a talk on happiness by Rinpoche Gyalwang Drukpa. He said there's no destiny and there's no accident. A cup of tea tastes different depending on how much water, tealeaves, sugar and milk you put in it.

In Yunnan, I biked under the sun next to the lake for over six hours and by sunset, my heart started pounding heavily. I knew this feeling because last time I had it, I thought I was going to pass out suffering from a severe case of altitude sickness in Tibet at 5,000 meters. Then, I promised myself to treat this body well but I failed to keep the promise. One of the symptoms of altitude sickness is insomnia. I was left with hours in the dark in bed thinking about all the things I didn't do for my body.

When in Nepal, going back to basics taught me I don't need most of the things I have and I learned to be efficient with the very few things I truly need. Electricity was only available after 9 at night. Sometimes there was no flush for the toilet, sometimes there was no hot water and sometimes there's no water at all. But I was incredibly content, so was everyone I met in that beautiful country.

In a meditation camp up in the hills in Pokhara, I learned how to breathe. I fell asleep on a hammock reading. The sign posted on the door sounded crazy at first: No meat, no going out at night, no soda, no processed food, no speaking negatively of people and things. Then everything made sense. I also learned how to chant the mantra Om mani padme hum, to later realize my dad taught me how to chant it years ago. I just forgot.

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